we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
