would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
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