Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
