Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
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