im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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