we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Randomize