i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Randomize
