i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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