carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
