i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
