there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Randomize