Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Randomize
