he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Randomize