It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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