Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
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