im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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