for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
