Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
