i just google imaged poop.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
