It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize