Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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