we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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