so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
She's JV to your varsity
Girls should come with a carfax report
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize