The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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