You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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