you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Just invented taco cereal.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
Randomize
