My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
