You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
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