We're like a lot better than the average bears
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize