Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Randomize
