tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Randomize
