yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Damn victory sex feels great
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize