He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
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