I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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