You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
