All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
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