Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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