This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Randomize
