I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
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