Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
