Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
My liver just had a heart attack.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
