Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
