He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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