Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
