There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize
