i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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