What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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