Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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