He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
Randomize
