she woke up with a sticky ear
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
