Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Dude my mom stole all your condoms
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
