your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
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