Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
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