If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
its not stalking. its research.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
