I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
