im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
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