at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
