He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
