She announced her abortion via fbk
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
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