By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
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