Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize