my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
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