i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
All I want is dick and wine.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Randomize