yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
