Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
