One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Randomize